Food Service Rules.
Waitering -always claim your free meal if you're a waiter for a caterer ie dont get tips.
if the host/ess is pissed enough, it's fine to take a (probably not a full one) bottle of spirits with you. and if you can get cigars, by all means get them. if the host/ess is rich enough to afford a cigar for each of the 100 male guests, they will serve them good cigars.
if someone is a knob to me - dont complain if i dont serve you because the "tray was empty by the time i got there"
if someone wants to know your name - your fucked.
if im only serving food, dont ask for a drink and for fucks sake dont get offended when i tell you to go to the bar yourself. i am not a bar-back and you are NOT paying for your food, so shut the fuck up.
if you are the host/ess feel free to ask for anything.
i, as a waiter, am not obliged to dry-clean any of your garments because you, the gyrating slut, were doing your shit on the proverbial dance floor and bumped me, causing food to fall on you.
i am not obliged to hold back a vomiting guest's hair for them.
anything that required gloves i am not obliged to do.
Micky D's -
i wish death upon all those who ask for a cheeseburger with no pickles. pull em off yourself you lazy fuck's (unless of course you're allergic to em)
anything that a store manager doesnt ask me to do on a normal close, i am not obliged to do for lesser managers.
back area crew i know of do not spit on burgers. Neither do i.
the phrases "timer return", "product level check" and many others are used to point out a hot chick on counter. if you are the said hot chick, smile, we're looking at your tits not your face.
most importantly - ask for a fresh burger if you're ordering one after 7:30
any mates who have others, feel free to comment and add any i missed.
posted by Dave @ 2:33 PM
8 Comments:
Remind me not to stop @ Maccas, when in Brisbane. For starters, I don't even have tits... God, it's so difficult to be a man nowadays - you almost have to... hunt in order to eat fresh meat!!!
oh my god. haha....
maccas isnt too bad comapared to other restaurant chains in brisbane...for the safest food i'd say Subway is best - it's prepared in front of you and as jess knows, theyre anal about food safety.
ahaha u know me...i couldnt give a rats ass wether there's a hot chick at counter or not - i get to gloat that unlike 90% of back area crew, i have a girlfriend. i will give a heads up to other guys though, cos this is a shit job, and it makes their lives happy for a few minutes at a time. pity jess.
if hayley comes and im there - please ask for me to make it. i dont mind making stuff for people i kno and unlike 99% of all customers, i'll make sure to get it right.
yeah, i also hate people who ask for cheeseburgers with no pickles, unless of course, liek you said, they are allergic. its ok for kids tho coz its just something they do and if u dont do it for them, theyll get upset. its the adults that come through and want all their burgers without pickles, that really annoys me, or ever more if one person comes through and asks for one cheeseburger without pickles. ahhh sheesh! just really annoys the shit outta me!
the people that order something we dont have in production bin a minute before close - ill fuckin kill you one day, or serve your burger with a little rat turd in it. i hate you!
... turning into a vegan, gradually
classy, thanks junky. nice to see you read my blog :)
cheers matty, forgot the pickle juice one...
thanks for all the comments guys :)
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